Luo Yi's last month

About a month ago, we got e-mail from Kaining that Luo
Yi was in serious situation. I was really worried. So
I called Luo Yi immediately.

"Did you hear something?" A smiling voice came
through. The lightness of the voice made me relaxed.
So we started to talk. In the middle, I asked if
transplant was a choice. Luo Yi told me that there was
some one who had liver transplant, and it only lasted
six years. So he did not want to go that route. And he
talked very casually, and sounded quite hopeful.

I then told him about vegan diet. A friend of mine
healed from liver cancer. And one of important steps
he did is following a vegan diet. That is a quit
restricted diet with no meat, no milk, and no eggs. At
the time, Luo Yi was already taken a veggie diet with
small amount of meat, milk and eggs. "How good eggs
taste like," he said with a laugh.

I was a little surprised. For me, eggs are just too
ordinary to be taste good. There are just too much
food around, and nothing seems taste especially good
anymore.

I asked my friend to talk with him about his own
experiences.

A few days later, Kaining told us that Luo Yi kept
loosing strength. My heart started sinking. I talked
to Luo Yi again. He told me that my friend has called
him, and he was so confident now. And he was taking a
walk in the woods every day, taking vegan diet, and
watching DVDs etc. He's confidence again calmed me
down.

The third time, I talked with XueSong, and Luo Yi was
already in the hospital. XueSong told me that when Dr.
gave him milk or eggs he would not take them.He tried
to walk although it was quite difficult now. He felt
stomach bloated. If it were pain, there were medicine
to help. But there is no medicine to relieve the
stomach fullness. He even said, it might just be
easier to use a knife for the stomach.

My heart was broken. I wrote the poem for Luo Yi.

And I started to wonder if I should not have told him
about vegan diet, will that make him a little more
relaxed and enjoy food a little more? Kaibin, my
husband, said:" It does not matter, either way, he is
great." He then added, "I did not know him before, but
I am touched by him. He's brave and strong. I admire
him a lot."

Kaining let me know that XueSong did read the poem to
Luo Yi, and he cried. That made me cry too.

Now I realized what does the connected mean. When one
suffers, we all suffer.

I also realized what does the loss mean. Every one we
met in our life, becomes part of our life. When they
are gone, we felt the impact.

During Luo Yi's last month, what he left to me is that
soft, calm, smiling, and even a little cheerful voice.

- Wei Li, 10/21/2007, 7:30 PM